I am not even sure how to title this post yet. I have so much stress now at my job since my craniotomy nearly two years ago. I can still work, but I am not at 100% and I really do not think I will ever be. Unfortunately there are changes being made and most of them come in the area that I work. They let one employee go and another was able to find work with another company. So, that is now leaving more work to the remaining of us in the office. Add in a cut in hours so the company could cut our pay, I am in constant stress.
If you have ever had epilepsy you will know that stress can lead to seizures. As much as I want to get back to being able to drive I cannot because of a seizure last month. I have five months left of no driving. Since the turmoil at work I am in constant worry of another seizure. I have been looking for another job, but again that puts more stress on me. Then I knew I lost the job because during the last bit of the interview they shared I would work part of the time from another office in another town. That was when I shared the epilepsy, I would have to find a ride to their second office in another town.
I also deal with very mild aphasia. Anomic aphasia makes you lose words, often in the middle of saying them. I know what they are in my mind, but I cannot find them when I try to say them. I do a lot of describing to try to get back to that work. It is another difficulty in finding work. I avoid work that involves a lot of talking in the public. In my office with the coworkers that have known me for years I can do a lot of describing and “you know…” “it’s that thing that you use for…”. I have to find work that keeps me in a smaller environment.
If things are expected too quickly or if there is too much going on around me I have a hard time getting the work done. When I try to talk to someone on the phone and everyone in the office is talking I cannot hear the person on the phone. If I am talking to someone next to me and people start talking around us I lose their voice in the rest of the noise until I can see their face and focus on them. I have been told to try working in retail, so it becomes obvious I cannot get others to really understand what I am dealing with.
Short term memory issues really makes me worry about finding a new job. I am comfortable when I am now because I know how to do my job. I do a lot of note writing so I do not forget to get things done every day, but who will want to hire someone who cannot remember things.
Benefits have now become something to worry about. My current job offers health insurance and if I look for new work I have to know that I will have good insurance. Unfortunately when you are interviewing for a job the last thing you are supposed to ask is their benefit package. Your concern should be about the interest in the job and what you can bring to the company, not what they can bring to you.
I have been looking at some classes online that will give me some more skills when it comes to work because I think I want to move into an entirely different field, accounting is a stressful field, so I guess we will see how it goes. Change is difficult for everyone, but when you have health issues it adds a completely new perspective to it.